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When Death Leave No Explanation by Alton Jamison

When Death Leave No Explanation by Alton Jamison
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Every one of us has suffered loss in our lives. We all know what it feels like to receive a phone call or an unexpected visit that consists of bad news and “buckets” of tears. Death can sometimes feel like an unwanted house guest. Death can sometimes be the final relief when someone is struggling with an incurable illness.

Death can sometimes be the better alternative when forced to watch loved ones suffer daily from sicknesses. Yet, many times death comes into our lives and leaves no explanation. When death comes in one of its unexpected forms (heart attack, car accident, etc), we are left asking many questions. “God, how can you let this happen?” or, “What did I do to deserve this?” Recently, my father committed suicide, and I had no idea what caused him to take his own life. I want to give you some insight on how to handle death, especially when you do not understand why. I want to share with you the tool I applied to my life during this season of difficulty.

I call this tool P.E.A.C.E. The acronym stands for: Prayer, Encouragement, Attitude, Communication, and Example


P: Prayer
One of the first things we should do when we do not understand the unexplainable is to pray. People often feel that when they pray nothing happens, or that God does not hear them. In essence, prayer lets God know that, in spite of what you are going through, you still believe He is in control, He will do nothing without a purpose, and He will never put more on you than you can handle.

E: Encouragement
During times of sorrow, people can sometimes overdo it when it comes to saying “I'm sorry,” sending cards, and administering warm hugs for hours on end. This can be comforting, but not always encouraging—and for me, it became a constant reminder that “I should be upset.” I found the most encouragement when I talked with people who had been through similar situations. I exhort you to find individuals to talk with during this time who have faced and overcome similar challenges. For example, after my father's death, I met many people who had endured a loved one’s suicide. This was very encouraging, because it was someone who could relate to what I was going through.

A: Attitude
The old saying is “your attitude determines your altitude.” This saying is applicable during difficult times in your life. What helped sustain me during this time was developing and maintaining a positive attitude. Many people ask, “How can you have a positive attitude when something so negative has happened?” I realize that my attitude will determine how the situation affects me long term. Maintaining a negative attitude has the potential to breed bitterness, anger, and a wall of hurt and frustration. Even though I did not understand the “why,” I realized that a positive attitude is the “way.”

C: Communication
Communication is important during this time. In order to release the anguish, the hurt, and the questions that plague you, you must be willing to talk with someone other than yourself. Built up hurt only deepens emotional damage and problems. The communication will not necessarily give you all of the answers, but it will relieve some of the tension caused by your bereavement.

E: Example
I realized that the ultimate lesson in this is to be an example to others who are facing a difficult time in their lives. When you learn how to handle difficult situations without completely falling apart, you have a stronger testimony to others. I am learning that God comforts us in our tribulation so we can comfort others during their tribulation.

Alton Jamison
"Teaching Real Methods To Help Young People Overcome Real Problems"
Professional Speaker, Author and Success Coach

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